Below is the transcript of a recent interview by a journalist in a western Ukrainian village:
Interviewer: how do you feel about your son dying to defend Ukraine from attack?
Mother: I am sad. I wish he were still alive.
Interviewer: did you know that your son would still be alive if Ukraine had simply pledged not to join NATO?
Mother: yes.
Interview: did you know that Ukraine had previously promised to not join NATO but then changed its mind?
Mother: yes.
Interviewer: did you know the USA had promised to not expand NATO into Ukraine?
Mother: yes, but it wasn't in writing, although I imagine the Russian people were glad to hear it.
Interviewer: did you know that Ukraine seems likely to lose a sizable portion of territory and still have to renounce joining NATO in order to stop this war?
Mother: yes.
Interviewer: did you know that Ukraine was offered a chance to stop the war a month after it started and it wouldn't have lost any territory and all it had to do was promise to not join NATO?
Mother: no, who told you that? Are you saying my son would still be alive and Ukraine would still have all its territory, although we couldn't join NATO, which now we won't be able to do anyway?
Interviewer: shut up, I'm the one asking the questions here.
Mother: okay, sorry.
Interviewer: did you know that some people in Kiev and America are making a lot of money off this war?
Mother: yes.
Interviewer: how do you feel about that?
Mother: this doesn't bother me. Everyone has to eat. Listen, we are farmers in this village. We understand how things work. Everyone has to eat. Some people eat potatoes and some people eat prime beef. It's the way of the world. I understand.
Interviewer: do you have any message for the American people?
Mother: I'm sad. I wish my son was still alive.
[Independent unbiased fact checker: no lies detected above except perhaps in the first line.]
(Editorial note: this transcript was smuggled out of Ukraine in a shipment that also included a sample obtained surreptitiously of the latest super-secret, only-made-in-Russia radioactive isotope that Putin intends to use to kill his next political foe -- you know rather than just using a mugger's bullet which would be more effective and certain and less traceable but doesn't generate as much negative attention.)
(Artistic notice: no animals were killed or maimed in making this piece, although some human feelings may be injured and at least one bottle of 5-Hour Energy met its demise.)
