Dealing With Setbacks in Life

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dualstow
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by dualstow » Thu Dec 12, 2019 6:32 am

Smith1776 wrote:
Thu Dec 12, 2019 2:33 am
Just a quick post about how my situation so far:

1) I have often thought to myself: the things in life that seem like they'll be so great, are often not that great when you finally achieve/acquire them. And the things in life that you think are so bad, are often not that bad once they've actually happened. I have to say that this is indeed the case with this license suspension. I've had to make some adjustments, but the world didn't end. I am still living and breathing, and I am still pursuing my goals. Life just sort of goes on.

2) I have experienced an outpouring of generosity from friends and family offering to help me. Honestly, this incident has made me feel more loved than my last birthday party, special event, etc. This has spurred me on to wanting to pay this generosity forward next time someone needs help. I am incredibly grateful to everyone offering to lend me a hand.

3) Waiting before hiring a lawyer has been a good call. After the initial panic, I am able to make a more rational decision now that I have better perspective.

Will let you guys know how this develops over time. ^-^
How are you getting to work in the meantime?
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by sophie » Thu Dec 12, 2019 8:32 am

Ebike is a great idea! Or a minibike (motor-driven) that doesn't require a license like a full-on motorcycle.

Those can turn what might seem to be a painful, long bike commute into something very doable. And like motorcycles you can legally weave around cars so in heavy traffic you probably might even get to work faster.

Assuming of course they're not banned in Vancouver the way they are in NYC. I think NYC banned them because they didn't want competition for the subways or the city's bikeshare system.
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by Smith1776 » Thu Dec 12, 2019 1:29 pm

dualstow wrote:
Thu Dec 12, 2019 6:32 am

How are you getting to work in the meantime?
My current commute is a mish mash of transit, rides from friends, rides from family, and changing my availability for work to more opportune times.

It has not been a great experience, but I've been able to make it work so far. Again, everyone around me has just been so generous with helping me.

I may have mentioned this before: but I actually do quite a bit of performing such as stand up comedy. I have a friend from the class that I took who's willing to book gigs for the same events as me so that she can always give me a ride. Serendipitous and so grateful.

EDIT: I will add that I am also incredibly grateful for the stability of the PP in times like this. I am having to drawdown on my savings during this time in order to fund unexpected costs that are connected to this incident. I can't imagine how much harder this situation would be with a more volatile portfolio.
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by Smith1776 » Thu Dec 12, 2019 1:45 pm

sophie wrote:
Thu Dec 12, 2019 8:32 am
Ebike is a great idea! Or a minibike (motor-driven) that doesn't require a license like a full-on motorcycle.

Those can turn what might seem to be a painful, long bike commute into something very doable. And like motorcycles you can legally weave around cars so in heavy traffic you probably might even get to work faster.

Assuming of course they're not banned in Vancouver the way they are in NYC. I think NYC banned them because they didn't want competition for the subways or the city's bikeshare system.
I did not consider an Ebike option! I just checked: no license of any kind at all is required to ride an e-bike. I actually will look into this as transport for those longer distances.

One thing I am hoping to get out of this situation: maybe, just maybe, I can design my life so that when I get my license back, I won't even WANT my car back. And I can save a bundle on insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by dualstow » Thu Dec 12, 2019 2:53 pm

My brother used to take an e-bike to work. He would use the electric option on the way there so as not to get sweaty before work, and then pedal home at the end of the day.
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by Smith1776 » Tue Dec 17, 2019 3:00 pm

Just another update on my experiences so far.

So I've gone through and hired a lawyer. I ended up going with the middle of the road option in terms of pricing. Not the most expensive lawyer, but not the cheapest either.

It seems, at least in my area, that the market for lawyers is quite "efficient". More experienced lawyers charge similar sums while less experienced lawyers all seem to charge similar amounts as well.

For me, that meant the midrange option was a junior associate lawyer with a few years experience. The higher end of the spectrum would be a senior lawyer with a decade plus under their belt. The most affordable route would be an articling student -- someone who has graduated law school but hasn't passed the bar.

My overall emotional and mental state is much better now, despite not being able to drive. I've gone through enough of an adjustment period that it's not SO bad. I've tightened my belt a bit: I don't eat out anymore; I've pared down music lessons to 30 minutes a week instead of 60 minutes; and I do more affordable things when hanging out with friends.

Overall, I've tried to make this as positive an experience as possible. This incident has basically put me through a crash course in basic law, and I've met some interesting and nice people on transit. Dare I say this has been... almost... fun?
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by Cortopassi » Tue Dec 17, 2019 4:14 pm

I rode every nice day this past summer. Bafang BBS02 mid drive motor. Completely silent. Cruises at 20+MPH easy. I typically did a decent amount of pedal assist, then I'd turn it down, and go hard for 30 seconds, about 5x times during the ride. Kept me in good shape. 15 minute commute. Car took 11 minutes. Too cold now. I don't like riding in cold.

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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by dualstow » Tue Dec 17, 2019 5:15 pm

Wow, Smithers, you have a lot of extracurricular activities: bodybuilding, music and stand-up at least.
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by Smith1776 » Tue Dec 17, 2019 8:03 pm

dualstow wrote:
Tue Dec 17, 2019 5:15 pm
Wow, Smithers, you have a lot of extracurricular activities: bodybuilding, music and stand-up at least.
Yes, people do mention that often when I get into conversations about hobbies and such.

The first impression that people sometimes get is that it seems impressive. However, there's an uncomfortable truth behind having lots of interests: you end up being a jack of all trades and a master of none.

Suppose it's true that becoming a master at anything really takes 10,000 hours of practice. It's pretty hard to hit 10,000 hours when you're pulled in a dozen different directions.

To be fair, by invoking the Pareto Principle, one might argue that 80% of the skill of a master can be extracted from the first 2,000 hours.

Still, I think I might need to pare down and focus more! It's a trade off for sure.
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by vnatale » Tue Dec 17, 2019 8:07 pm

Smith1776 wrote:
Tue Dec 17, 2019 8:03 pm
dualstow wrote:
Tue Dec 17, 2019 5:15 pm
Wow, Smithers, you have a lot of extracurricular activities: bodybuilding, music and stand-up at least.
Yes, people do mention that often when I get into conversations about hobbies and such.

The first impression that people sometimes get is that it seems impressive. However, there's an uncomfortable truth behind having lots of interests: you end up being a jack of all trades and a master of none.

Suppose it's true that becoming a master at anything really takes 10,000 hours of practice. It's pretty hard to hit 10,000 hours when you're pulled in a dozen different directions.

To be fair, by invoking the Pareto Principle, one might argue that 80% of the skill of a master can be extracted from the first 2,000 hours.

Still, I think I might need to pare down and focus more! It's a trade off for sure.
When I originally read about that "10,000 hour" rule in Gladwell's book I unquestionably accepted it because he wrote it. Subsequently I found out it was not true.

Do an internet search and you'll see article like this all over the place: https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/ ... e-debunked

I think, though, I still believe in Pareto's rule.

Vinny
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by Smith1776 » Tue Dec 17, 2019 8:12 pm

vnatale wrote:
Tue Dec 17, 2019 8:07 pm


When I originally read about that "10,000 hour" rule in Gladwell's book I unquestionably accepted it because he wrote it. Subsequently I found out it was not true.

Do an internet search and you'll see article like this all over the place: https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/ ... e-debunked

I think, though, I still believe in Pareto's rule.

Vinny

Thanks for this, Vinny! Very fascinating article.

Assuming the assertions of the author are correct, I find it to be a bittersweet conclusion.

On the one hand, as the author says, we shouldn't have to hold ourselves to an impossible standard. That's great.

On the other hand, the piece concedes that even incredible practice and determination may, in some cases, not be enough to overcome someone else's tremendous natural talent. That's kind of disheartening.
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Re: Dealing With Setbacks in Life

Post by vnatale » Tue Dec 17, 2019 8:51 pm

Smith1776 wrote:
Tue Dec 17, 2019 8:12 pm
vnatale wrote:
Tue Dec 17, 2019 8:07 pm


When I originally read about that "10,000 hour" rule in Gladwell's book I unquestionably accepted it because he wrote it. Subsequently I found out it was not true.

Do an internet search and you'll see article like this all over the place: https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/ ... e-debunked

I think, though, I still believe in Pareto's rule.

Vinny

Thanks for this, Vinny! Very fascinating article.

Assuming the assertions of the author are correct, I find it to be a bittersweet conclusion.

On the one hand, as the author says, we shouldn't have to hold ourselves to an impossible standard. That's great.

On the other hand, the piece concedes that even incredible practice and determination may, in some cases, not be enough to overcome someone else's tremendous natural talent. That's kind of disheartening.
In my experience, I'd amend the "in some cases" to "in many cases".

Vinny
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