drumminj wrote: ↑Mon Apr 27, 2020 9:32 am
FWIW Smithy I was 34 when I finally found the right one for me. 8 years later and it's hard to believe life our lives somehow connected -- any younger and there's no way we would have run into each other, nor been as compatible (likely wouldn't have even talked to the other person!)
Looking back, I see all the time before as "practice". You learn a lot about yourself through "failed" relationships -- what you value in a partner, what gets old over time. And you learn who you are during the in-between times as you seek happiness through yourself vs someone else.
One suggestion, if you're not already doing it -- video chat with friends. I'd not done the video thing before the who 'rona thing, but it's a much better connection than email or IM or just voice chat. Heck, have a beer together virtually!
Mid thirties does seem like a good age to commit. Old enough to have gained some wisdom, young enough to really enjoy the bulk of the rest of your life.
It's been a day since the breakup. Maybe my wanting to get married is just the influence of other people settling down... and perhaps I really need to think about what's best for myself. Mindlessly aping what other people are doing doesn't seem to lead to good results in life in generally.
My two best friends -- one of them is married and the other is engaged. They're both the same age as me. When we were in our twenties they both found girls they clicked with. Both of their relationships have been going on near a decade now. I was just dating, having fun, and thinking to myself "Pffffft! Why settle down when I can have so much fun!" It did seem so sensible at the time.
Honestly, I'm not so sure where I stand now.
P.S. I've said this before, but when I do get married you guys are all invited.
