Beard

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Wonk
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Beard

Post by Wonk » Thu Oct 03, 2013 1:03 pm

Hey all,

Hope everyone has been well.  Been a while since I last stopped in and have nothing to report or comment on regarding the permanent portfolio or current events.  Seems like there's a lot of noise, so I've been occupying my thoughts with other things....like growing a beard for the first time.  I've always been clean shaven but I admit I'm bored and want to see what it'll look like.

I'm curious how many others have grown beards or currently sport one. Have any suggestions for a first timer?  I'm about 2-3 weeks in and feel pretty damn itchy.  Mrs. Wonk hates it, but I gave her fair warning over the summer.  Time to express the small domain of independence I have at the moment.

I seem to remember plenty of interest in shaving a while back, so who's got good beard info to share?
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Re: Beard

Post by MediumTex » Thu Oct 03, 2013 1:47 pm

I do not have a beard and have never gotten very far in growing one.

IMHO, it's a strange thing to do if you have shaving supplies available.

I would think that a beard would get food and other odds and ends stuck in it, plus the obvious itch factor.

However, if I were a mountain man or stranded on an island, I would probably very much enjoy the process of growing a beard.

There is something sort of apelike about wearing a beard.

The Duck Dynasty guys have probably done a lot for the beard industry.
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Re: Beard

Post by craigr » Thu Oct 03, 2013 1:52 pm

With a proper training regiment you can make it here:

http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com
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Xan
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Re: Beard

Post by Xan » Thu Oct 03, 2013 2:26 pm

I had a full beard for a few months several years ago.  It never let it get long or anything, but there was enough to hold a pencil in.  Which was pretty convenient from time to time.

A year or two ago I tried again, but gave up before getting there because I felt trapped in my own face.
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Re: Beard

Post by dualstow » Thu Oct 03, 2013 2:27 pm

MediumTex wrote: However, if I were a mountain man or stranded on an island, I would probably very much enjoy the process of growing a beard.
..
There is something sort of apelike about wearing a beard..
Well let's not leave out the Beatles. If you are one of the Beatles, or if you are any post-Beatles rockstar, you just *have* to grow a beard sometime after your third album.

Seriously, I would love to grow a beard. The one time I tried, it was too itchy, wifey hated it, and my own parents told me I looked like a Middle Eastern terrorist (I'm a Heeb).
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Re: Beard

Post by moda0306 » Thu Oct 03, 2013 2:31 pm

I can't tell what's more creepy...

The thick, red neck/under-chin beard that I can grow, or the thin, patch-work molester beard above my jawline that I can barely grow.


So, no, I don't grow a beard.  I'd love to, though.
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Re: Beard

Post by l82start » Thu Oct 03, 2013 3:13 pm

i have only done the full beard once, was kinda fun at first but after a while it lost its appeal, i like the goatee though, especially when seeing it for the first time,  a big step up for evil/devilish look of my appearance,  i have sported the goatee for quite a few years now... 
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Re: Beard

Post by Tyler » Thu Oct 03, 2013 3:14 pm

I grew a stubble beard and never looked back.  When I first grew one it itched at first, but there are 2 tricks to help that:

1) The itching really goes down after you trim the beard a few times with clippers.  If it starts to itch again, just trim it.  I trim mine about once a week.
2) Trim the mustache hairs off of your upper lip with small scissors. 

At this point, going back to shaving every day seems ridiculous.  The beard clippers are fast, easy, and far less expensive than replacing razors. 
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Re: Beard

Post by notsheigetz » Thu Oct 03, 2013 4:43 pm

I wore a beard for about 10 years, between the ages of about 40-50. I've always looked young for my age so it was as much about trying to make myself look older and more distinguished than it was about just not wanting to shave. I had my doubts about how well it would come in because of previous attempts but it surprised me when I finally gave it enough time while on vacation one year.

Shaved it off about 10 years ago, about 3 years after my first wife died, because my granddaughter (about age 6 at the time) told me that my beard was the reason girls didn't like me. I found a wife shortly after I shaved it off so maybe she was right (but you should have seen how freaked out she was when I came out of the bathroom after shaving it).

The thing I missed most about it at first, besides not shaving, was pulling on it while trying to think deeply about something somebody was saying. That had gotten to be a deeply ingrained habit. You won't understand until you're there.

Started growing it back once only to observe it was coming in grey. I have a lot less grey on my head than most men my age but it appeared to me it was going to be all grey.

For the record I do not recall that it ever itched, at least no more than my head (I have psoriasis), nor do I recall a problem of getting food in it. My Dad used to ask me if it wasn't hot in the summer time and I asked him why he didn't shave his head in the summer.
Last edited by notsheigetz on Thu Oct 03, 2013 6:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Beard

Post by MediumTex » Thu Oct 03, 2013 6:21 pm

I think those pictures of men with beards on the men's hair dye boxes are funny.

A dyed beard always gives a man a sort of "wax figure" look.

I see this guy at church from time to time who was born before the space age who has dyed hair, eyebrows and mustache.  I just look away.  I don't know what else to do.  I would help him if I could.
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Re: Beard

Post by Kriegsspiel » Thu Oct 03, 2013 8:52 pm

Clean shaven for 8 years, due to military requirements. For about half a year after I got out, I tried growing a beard, but kept shaving it off due to the uncomfortableness. I did let me hair grow out though.

I bought myself clippers for Christmas, and this entire year I've kept a stubble beard. It grows in completely even for me, so it looks pretty good, I think. I also started keeping my hair short too. It's great, very low maintenance, and I can do it all myself.
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Re: Beard

Post by Coffee » Thu Oct 03, 2013 8:53 pm

The beard is the ultimate expression of manliness. Pay no heed to the lady-boys on this forum.

Up until two months ago, I had a ZZ Top/Duck Dynasty style beard.  I was planning on starting a ZZ Top tribute band, actually.  I ended up shaving it shorter because it was getting in the way of my food... and I don't let anything get between me and my food.

It was an interesting experience.  I got a lot of attention with the beard.  Mine was gray on the bottom half and dark on the top half.  Sometimes women would ask how I got the fade in my beard.  LOL.  As if I dyed it that way.

I found that people take me a lot more seriously with the beard.  I have a short chin-line, so the beard helps compensate for that.

My wife likes me with both the beard and without the beard.  She doesn't have a preference. 

Strangely enough, I've found that older folks (70+) don't like the beard.  Younger folks seem to like it.  I've been told:

- I look like a biker (several people)
- I look like a Mountain man (my veterinarian)
- I look like a rabbi. (My real estate attorney and a few others)
- I look like one of the Duck Commanders.

All of which are much better than being told that I look like the computer nerd that I am.

Here's a trick that I've found helps with both itching and sebaccious cyts (the pimples you get when the hair grows back into the follicle):

Buy Tail and Mane conditioner.  They sell it at my local grocery store, but you can also get it at most feeds stores because horse owners use it.  Works really well.  My wife tried it and liked it so much, she now uses it on her hair.

If you tell me it's because my wife probably looks like a horse... I'll kill you.
Last edited by Coffee on Thu Oct 03, 2013 8:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Beard

Post by RuralEngineer » Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:53 pm

I used to have a full beard when I lived in Colorado and was snowboarding. I grew it to keep the wind off my face and it worked great. Growing it out was itchy for a bit but I got used to it. My wife hates facial hair, but I use it to torment her. I grew a large mustache for Movember last year and got a whole month of sadistic fun out of that.
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Re: Beard

Post by Coffee » Thu Oct 03, 2013 10:00 pm

RuralEngineer wrote: I used to have a full beard when I lived in Colorado and was snowboarding. I grew it to keep the wind off my face and it worked great. Growing it out was itchy for a bit but I got used to it. My wife hates facial hair, but I use it to torment her. I grew a large mustache for Movember last year and got a whole month of sadistic fun out of that.
+1
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Re: Beard

Post by gizmo_rat » Fri Oct 04, 2013 2:27 am

MediumTex wrote: I just look away.  I don't know what else to do.  I would help him if I could.
My brother has been sporting a dodgy beard the last few years, makes him look like he has mange.
I'm too polite to tell him.

If you're thinking of growing a beard consider a "beard buddy" who will tell you straight if you look like a dick.
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Re: Beard

Post by dualstow » Fri Oct 04, 2013 3:51 am

Coffee wrote: Here's a trick that I've found helps with both itching and sebaccious cyts (the pimples you get when the hair grows back into the follicle):

Buy Tail and Mane conditioner. 
Some useful info for the OP.
I shave every other day, but sometimes I get those ingrown whiskers anyway. I hate those.
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Re: Beard

Post by 6 Iron » Fri Oct 04, 2013 6:06 pm

I tried growing a beard in my early 20's; a pitiful effort, and I assumed that it was not to be. But apparently, the same genes that in later life cause nose and ear hair growth conspired to fill out my beard, because when I tried again in my late 40's, it came in quite full- but mostly gray.

I most loved having it while snow blowing on a windy day. I had minor itching, but shaved it because it made me look 10 years older.
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Re: Beard

Post by jacob_h » Fri Oct 04, 2013 10:14 pm

For men with wavy / curly hair (like myself), shaving can give the facial hair follicles a point, which better enables them to grow back into the skin.

I have a beard because I hate those ingrown whiskers.

Your beard is damn itchy for a few possible reasons.  1) You likely have hair trapped under the skin that is finally poking its way out.  Get a cheap bar soap saver cloth pouch from Walmart and make sure one side is a scrubber.  I find it useful for the first month or more to scrub my beard with the scrubber side of the soap saver with soap in it.  This gets rid of any dry skin / bacteria and works to round-off the tips of my hair follicles that shaving has sharpened. 2) Your beard hair my be naturally stiff and scratchy.  I second conditioning it every day.  I also like to work a pea-sized amount of coconut or macadamia nut oil through my beard after my shower to soften it and protect my facial skin even more - plus it gives my beard a lustrous sheen.

I also recommend trimming your mustache hairs like another commenter suggested.  I find it gets in the way of eating and kissing.  My beard buddy doesn't trim his mustache though, and his wife doesn't seem to mind - so to each their own.

I also shape it some with a razor to give it defined edges - otherwise, my body hair would go from practically my bottom eyelids to my toes. Every so often, I take adjustable clippers or scissors to it to trim the length.  My beard is more Bob Vila than Duck Dynasty.

Last, if you have a beard and don't dress like a hipster douche, I've found that people assume certain qualities about you - fatherly, woodsy, capable, knowledgeable about handicrafts, and tough.  I'm an engineer and dress decently most of the time.  Without a beard, I must have seemed like just an other weenie corporate drone.  With a beard, strangers ask for my advice and tattooed thugs move out of my way on the street.  I'm not convinced white privilege exists, but I'm fairly certain that beard privilege exists.
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Re: Beard

Post by Wonk » Sat Oct 05, 2013 1:52 pm

Great info--thanks guys!
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Re: Beard

Post by dualstow » Sat Oct 05, 2013 2:06 pm

jacob_h wrote: For men with wavy / curly hair (like myself), shaving can give the facial hair follicles a point, which better enables them to grow back into the skin.
Did not know that!
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Re: Beard

Post by Coffee » Sat Oct 05, 2013 7:49 pm

jacob_h wrote: With a beard, strangers ask for my advice and tattooed thugs move out of my way on the street.  I'm not convinced white privilege exists, but I'm fairly certain that beard privilege exists.
That's because the good Lord made women and children "smooth faced".  He gave real men beards.

- Moses
- Noah
- Grizzly Adams.

I rest my case. 
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Re: Beard

Post by k9 » Tue Oct 08, 2013 10:10 am

I shave only once in a while, because the process of shaving is painful (I have thick facial hair I guess) and takes time. But after a while, I usually get fed up with it for various reasons and finally shave.
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Re: Beard

Post by dualstow » Tue Oct 08, 2013 11:53 am

k9 wrote: I shave only once in a while, because the process of shaving is painful (I have thick facial hair I guess) and takes time. But after a while, I usually get fed up with it for various reasons and finally shave.
Have you tried a safety razor instead of an electric shaver or modern multi-blade disposable?
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Re: Beard

Post by Ad Orientem » Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:05 am

craigr wrote: With a proper training regiment you can make it here:

http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com
Or here...

Image

Image

Image
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Re: Beard

Post by dualstow » Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:53 pm

That guy in the middle of picture #3 looks like Dumbledore, my favorite.
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