A Visit to Wokeville USA
Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 2:40 pm
Note - I'll add to the Wokeville experience as time permits. I'll try to limit it to factoids of truthiness based on the USA. If i get something wrong in the conversion I'm sure you guys will help me correct it. I'm writing when scarce time permits and just eyeballing numbers. Revisions might be necessary.
Wokeville:
Population - 10,000 souls
In the last 18 months, the government and media claim that 18 citizens of wokeville have died of a mysterious new disease called the "Heinekenvirus".
16 died in the first 12 months, 2 have died in the last 6 months.
Mysteriously, not a single person has died of the flu in this time, normally 3-4 people would have died of it but it seems to have vanished.
Of the 18 who died, the youngest was 46. He was obese with diabetes and heart disease. 2 more were between 50-64, both obese, one with cancer, the other had survived multiple heart attacks. 6 more were aged 65-74. The remaining 9 were over 75.
Only 2 were considered "healthy" prior to Heineken virus affliction.
The average age of the deceased was 77.
A significant portion of the population worshipped an orange demon with small hands named Drumpf. These cultists disputed the official numbers and said that 9 dead was much closer to the truth.
They pointed to the fact that everyone who went to the hospital was getting tested for Heineken, that hospitals were getting paid extra to classify people as Heineken victims and the head of the government's Heineken task force said "anyone who dies and has tested positive for Heinekenvirus will be counted as a Heineken death.
The head doctor of Wokeville, Dr. Falsey said the Drump worshippers were crazy conspiracy theorists and the number 18 was proven by the science.
Wokeville:
Population - 10,000 souls
In the last 18 months, the government and media claim that 18 citizens of wokeville have died of a mysterious new disease called the "Heinekenvirus".
16 died in the first 12 months, 2 have died in the last 6 months.
Mysteriously, not a single person has died of the flu in this time, normally 3-4 people would have died of it but it seems to have vanished.
Of the 18 who died, the youngest was 46. He was obese with diabetes and heart disease. 2 more were between 50-64, both obese, one with cancer, the other had survived multiple heart attacks. 6 more were aged 65-74. The remaining 9 were over 75.
Only 2 were considered "healthy" prior to Heineken virus affliction.
The average age of the deceased was 77.
A significant portion of the population worshipped an orange demon with small hands named Drumpf. These cultists disputed the official numbers and said that 9 dead was much closer to the truth.
They pointed to the fact that everyone who went to the hospital was getting tested for Heineken, that hospitals were getting paid extra to classify people as Heineken victims and the head of the government's Heineken task force said "anyone who dies and has tested positive for Heinekenvirus will be counted as a Heineken death.
The head doctor of Wokeville, Dr. Falsey said the Drump worshippers were crazy conspiracy theorists and the number 18 was proven by the science.