It's been about four years since Charlie Sheen had his well-publicized meltdown. During that period, he made a series of statements that were often bizarre, but highly entertaining. Many of them also had a vague Jack Handey-like quality to them. Here are a few that have aged pretty well:
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"The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent."
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"I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, 'I can't process it' well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?"
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"I'm bi-winning. I win here, I win there."
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"People say you have to work on your resentments. Yeah, no, I'm gonna hang onto them and they're gonna fuel my attack."
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"I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."
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"I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it."
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"The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children."
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"If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ "It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm."
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"I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps."
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"Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh."
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"I try to be known more for my work than for anything else."
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Q: “Do you have funny shaped balloons?”
A: “Not unless round is funny.”
In addition to writing a book I think he should come out with his own brand of mouthwash, maybe something like "Sheensterine".
(Re: his infamous party with 5 porn stars that ended him up in the hospital.....
Kacey tweeted a risque photo of herself inside the mansion. In the photo you can see a coffee table littered with drinks, cigarettes, and drug store items like mouthwash.)
Do I need to point out the sheer futility of any mouthwash getting rid of tobacco or alcohol bad breath? Its true people that partake in either don't smell it very much on others, though, so nooky away! Birds of a a feather flock together? Misery loves company? Self-destruction attracts the self-destructive?
"All generous minds have a horror of what are commonly called 'Facts'. They are the brute beasts of the intellectual domain." -- Thomas Hobbes
Disclaimer: I am not a broker, dealer, investment advisor, physician, theologian or prophet. I should not be considered as legally permitted to render such advice!
MachineGhost wrote:
Do I need to point out the sheer futility of any mouthwash getting rid of tobacco or alcohol bad breath? Its true people that partake in either don't smell it very much on others, though, so nooky away! Birds of a a feather flock together? Misery loves company? Self-destruction attracts the self-destructive?
Well MG, when I saw the reference to the bottle of mouthwash on the table during a party with 4 porn stars I wasn't thinking the purpose was to get rid of the smell of tobacco or alcohol. But maybe that's because my mind is in the gutter.
The label on Listersheen could say "Kills the germs that cause......." and "recommended by Michael Douglas".
Last edited by screwtape on Sat Jun 06, 2015 12:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
madbean2 wrote:
Well MG, when I saw the reference to the bottle of mouthwash on the table during a party with 4 porn stars I wasn't thinking the purpose was to get rid of the smell of tobacco or alcohol. But maybe that's because my mind is in the gutter.
The label on Listersheen could say "Kills the germs that cause......." and "recommended by Michael Douglas".
"All generous minds have a horror of what are commonly called 'Facts'. They are the brute beasts of the intellectual domain." -- Thomas Hobbes
Disclaimer: I am not a broker, dealer, investment advisor, physician, theologian or prophet. I should not be considered as legally permitted to render such advice!
