The Real Hillary Shady

[MediumTex]

Reub suggested that my political coverage was a little too hard on the Republican candidates, so I thought I would do something special for Hillary Clinton.

I tried to clean this one up, but it's still a bit risque.

Ultimately, I just had to First Amendment the shit out of it.

America, may I have your attention please?
America, may I have your attention please?
Will the real Hillary Shady please stand up?
I repeat will the real Hillary Shady please stand up?

We're going to have an election here

Y'all act like you never seen a white liberal before
Jaws all on the floor like Bill and Monica just burst in the door
Anticipatin' 1996 redux on the White House floor

It's the return of the "Oh wait, no way, your kidding,
He didn't just do what I think he did, did he?"
And Vince Foster said
Nothing you idiots Vince Fosters dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha)

Feminist women love Hillary, chicka chicka chicka she's come a long way baby
Look at her, walking around with her own email server
Flippin' the you know what to all those who challenge her

Yea she's probably got a couple of screws up in her head loose
But no worse than what's going on in her husband's bedroom
Sometimes she wants to get on TV and just let loose, but she is prevented by Huma her muse,
But it's cool for Dick Morris to hump a cheap lady and then trash Hillary on Fox News

Dick's bum was on her lips, Dick's bum was on her lips
And I'm lucky if a baby will just give me a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And then accuse me of not knowing what political discourse is.

Of course they gonna know what political discourse is by the time they hit 4th grade,
They got the C-SPAN channels don't they?
We ain't nothing but political animals,
Well some of us are political cannibals,
Who cut up our opponents like cantaloupes
Hunt 'em down like a lion chasing antelopes
The Supreme Court says there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
Women burn your bras, sing the chorus and it goes

I'm Hillary Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Hillary Shadys are just imitating
So won't the Hillary Shady please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Hillary Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Hillary Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Hillary Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up

Barack Obama don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and the horse he rode in on too.
You think I give a damn about 2008 when beat me black and blue?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
"But Hillary what if you win in 2016 wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? Surely I've told enough lies to get me here

I'm sick of you vast right wing conspiracy groups
All you do is annoy me too
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And there's not one in a million just like me
Who can lie like me, who can spin Benghazi like me, who can roll Bill bimbos like me
Walk, talk and campaign like me, it just might be the next best thing,
But not quite me

'Cause I'm Hillary Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Hillary Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Hillary Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Hillary Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Hillary Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Hillary Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up

I'm like a head trip to listen to
'Cause I'm only giving you
Shrill femnazi propaganda socialist promises
Of the freedoms I'll take from you
The only difference is I got the juice to say it in front of y'all
And you better believe I'll sugar coat it all
I spit out the falsehoods, and whether you like to admit it
I do it better than 90 percent of compulsive liars
And I can do it in a New York minute

At the rate I'm going when I'm 77
I'll be kickin' it in the White House in seventh heaven
While Bill will be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses and jackin' off with the Jergens
But by then his jerk will be weak and the Viagra will have stopped working

And every single person is a Hillary Shady lurkin'
She could be workin' at Goldman Sachs
Churning your account, siphoning off the stacks
Or maybe down in the parking lot circling,
Screaming I don't give a fuck with her windows down and system up
So will the real Shady, please stand up
And put two of those fingers on each hand up
Like Nixon back from the dead sporting lies and creeping out of control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Hillary Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Hillary Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Hillary Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Hillary Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Hillary Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Hillary Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up

Haha, I guess there's a Hillary Shady in all of us,
Fuck it,
Let's all stand up 

[Reub]

Just beautiful!

[Austen Heller]

Dude that was awesome.  'Jackin with the Jergens', that always makes me chuckle.

[Early Cuyler]

The Real Mitt Romney

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxch-yi14BE

[Pointedstick]

I guess we do have a thread on Hillary Clinton. There just doesn't seem to be much to say, I guess. Here's something:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/judge-orders- ... 48193.html

(Reuters) - A federal judge ruled on Tuesday that U.S. State Department officials and aides to Hillary Clinton should be questioned under oath about whether the former secretary of state's use of a private email system was an effort to skirt open records laws.

The ruling by U.S. District Judge Emmet Sullivan is likely to add to the uncertainty hovering over Clinton, the front-runner for the Democratic nomination for the November U.S. presidential election, about the legal consequences of her decision to exclusively use a private email server in her New York home for her government work.

[MediumTex]

I guess we do have a thread on Hillary Clinton. There just doesn't seem to be much to say, I guess. Here's something:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/judge-orders- ... 48193.html

(Reuters) - A federal judge ruled on Tuesday that U.S. State Department officials and aides to Hillary Clinton should be questioned under oath about whether the former secretary of state's use of a private email system was an effort to skirt open records laws.

The ruling by U.S. District Judge Emmet Sullivan is likely to add to the uncertainty hovering over Clinton, the front-runner for the Democratic nomination for the November U.S. presidential election, about the legal consequences of her decision to exclusively use a private email server in her New York home for her government work.

So frickin' shady. 

[Pointedstick]

Even the New York times is begging her to release her wall street bank speech transcripts:

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/26/opini ... .html?_r=0

“Everybody does it,” is an excuse expected from a mischievous child, not a presidential candidate. But that is Hillary Clinton’s latest defense for making closed-door, richly-paid speeches to big banks, which many middle-class Americans still blame for their economic pain, and then refusing to release the transcripts.
[...]
Voters have every right to know what Mrs. Clinton told these groups. In July, her spokesman Nick Merrill said that though most speeches were private, the Clinton operation “always opened speeches when asked to.” Transcripts of speeches that have been leaked have been pretty innocuous. By refusing to release them all, especially the bank speeches, Mrs. Clinton fuels speculation about why she’s stonewalling.

Her conditioning her releases on what the Republicans might or might not do is mystifying. Republicans make no bones about their commitment to Wall Street deregulation and tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans. Mrs. Clinton is laboring to convince struggling Americans that she will rein in big banks, despite taking their money.

What is most mystifying at all is why after weeks, even months of this, if she isn't going to release them, Hillary still hasn't even come up with a good excuse or a way to make this go away. It's embarrassing.

[Reub]

Bryan Pagliano has been granted immunity for his testimony on how he set up Hillary's illegal server.  I just hope that his life insurance is paid for.

[Reub]

If Hillary wins and then is convicted can she pardon herself?

[Mountaineer]

If Hillary wins and then is convicted can she pardon herself?

LOL 

... M

[MediumTex]

If Hillary wins and then is convicted can she pardon herself?

LOL 

... M

That's not a lot different from what Nixon did.

I think it's pretty amazing that President Ford was never elected VP or President.  He was just a lucky guy who was in the right place at the right time to become President without actually going through the election process for any national office.

Ford really does deserve a lot of credit for being such a stable presence during that time.  Imagine if it had been Al Haig instead of Gerald Ford.

[MediumTex]

One question I have about Hillary:  What did she have to gain from setting up that server at her house?  I'm honestly baffled by that, and I haven't kept up on all the theories.  Was she just stupid/incompetent, and wanted to use her own email?  Was she sharing state secrets with foreign enemies?  Hiding Benghazi secrets?

She thought it would give her more control over access to her communications.

Like Obama and W. before, Hillary is obsessed with secrecy.  She wants as few people as possible to know what she's doing and thinking.

Like Nixon discovered, though, being obsessed with secrecy can cause the thing you fear to become self-fulfilling.

[Pointedstick]

My impression is that it was to have immunity to FOIA requests. FOIA requests can't be made for communications using non-government systems. It's basically a loophole that allows government employees to hide things from FOIA scrutiny. So people would submit FOIA requests and she could search her official email account and say, "huh, nothing here about that!"

Of course, when you hide high-level, extremely classified government secrets this way--deliberately or accidentally--it's like eight different felonies.

I seriously expect her to be criminally indicted. She doesn't have a lotta wiggle room.

[Reub]

i don't know if there is any evidence for it (left un-destroyed)_..., but the Clinton foundation receiving "donations" from foreign interests when she was sec of state, and foreign interests getting US government influence, would be a list topper...

This!

[MediumTex]

My impression is that it was to have immunity to FOIA requests. FOIA requests can't be made for communications using non-government systems. It's basically a loophole that allows government employees to hide things from FOIA scrutiny. So people would submit FOIA requests and she could search her official email account and say, "huh, nothing here about that!"

Of course, when you hide high-level, extremely classified government secrets this way--deliberately or accidentally--it's like eight different felonies.

I seriously expect her to be criminally indicted. She doesn't have a lotta wiggle room.

We're any of the emails on her server classified when they were sent or received?  My understanding is the answer is no.

[Pointedstick]

We're any of the emails on her server classified when they were sent or received?  My understanding is the answer is no.

The answer is yes:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/25/us/po ... unity.html

Mrs. Clinton has said for months that she kept no classified information on the private server that she set up in her house so she would not have to carry both a personal phone and a work phone. Her campaign said Friday that any government secrets found on the server had been classified after the fact.

But the inspectors general of the State Department and the nation’s intelligence agencies said the information they found was classified when it was sent and remains so now. Information is considered classified if its disclosure would likely harm national security, and such information can be sent or stored only on computer networks with special safeguards.

Given this, the real question is why she's not currently wearing leg irons or behind bars. Keep in mind that article was published last July. A whole lot more has come out since then, including intelligence that if released could jeopardize the lives of undercover agents.

[Xan]

Not only is the answer "yes", but for stuff that wasn't classified "at the time": who else is qualified if not the Secretary of State to know which documents are going to be classified?  Who is this "other" who does the classification?

[Pointedstick]

Here's the info about the CIA spy thing:

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/30/us/po ... .html?_r=0

WASHINGTON — The State Department on Friday said for the first time that “top secret” material had been sent through Hillary Clinton’s private computer server, and that it would not make public 22 of her emails because they contained highly classified information.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2016/02 ... tcmp=hpbt1

EXCLUSIVE: One of the classified email chains discovered on Hillary Clinton’s personal unsecured server discussed an Afghan national’s ties to the CIA and a report that he was on the agency’s payroll, a U.S. government official with knowledge of the document told Fox News.

The discussion of a foreign national working with the U.S. government raises security implications – an executive order signed by President Obama said such unauthorized disclosures are “presumed to cause damage to the national security."

The U.S. government official said the Clinton email exchange, which referred to a New York Times report, was among 29 classified emails recently provided to congressional committees with specific clearances to review them. In that batch were 22 “top secret” exchanges deemed too damaging to national security to release.

And for Democrats out there wondering, "why is this a big deal? Smells like another right-wing hit job!"

Here's the answer:

http://www.politico.com/story/2015/05/m ... ail-118007

Former Deputy CIA Director Michael Morell said that he believes some foreign intelligence agencies possess the contents of Hillary Clinton’s private email server.

“I think that foreign intelligence services, the good ones, have everything on any unclassified network that the government uses,” Morell said Friday in an interview on the Hugh Hewitt Show.

[MediumTex]

Not only is the answer "yes", but for stuff that wasn't classified "at the time": who else is qualified if not the Secretary of State to know which documents are going to be classified?  Who is this "other" who does the classification?

I didn't think any of the emails were classified at the time they were sent or received.  Many have since been classified, of course.

As far as who makes the decision about whether something is classified, I wouldn't expect a cabinet secretary to be involved in those decisions.  Things like that are usually decided by wonky committees of lawyers and analysts.

[Reub]

We're any of the emails on her server classified when they were sent or received?  My understanding is the answer is no.

The answer is yes:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/25/us/po ... unity.html

Mrs. Clinton has said for months that she kept no classified information on the private server that she set up in her house so she would not have to carry both a personal phone and a work phone. Her campaign said Friday that any government secrets found on the server had been classified after the fact.

But the inspectors general of the State Department and the nation’s intelligence agencies said the information they found was classified when it was sent and remains so now. Information is considered classified if its disclosure would likely harm national security, and such information can be sent or stored only on computer networks with special safeguards.

Given this, the real question is why she's not currently wearing leg irons or behind bars. Keep in mind that article was published last July. A whole lot more has come out since then, including intelligence that if released could jeopardize the lives of undercover agents.

Why isn't she already in leg irons? Because she was/is a part of the most corrupt, political, partisan administration in our country's history? Naivety aside.

[Pointedstick]

Not only is the answer "yes", but for stuff that wasn't classified "at the time": who else is qualified if not the Secretary of State to know which documents are going to be classified?  Who is this "other" who does the classification?

I didn't think any of the emails were classified at the time they were sent or received.  Many have since been classified, of course.

Actually…

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/25/us/po ... unity.html

Mrs. Clinton has said for months that she kept no classified information on the private server that she set up in her house so she would not have to carry both a personal phone and a work phone. Her campaign said Friday that any government secrets found on the server had been classified after the fact.

But the inspectors general of the State Department and the nation’s intelligence agencies said the information they found was classified when it was sent and remains so now.

[Reub]

Not only is the answer "yes", but for stuff that wasn't classified "at the time": who else is qualified if not the Secretary of State to know which documents are going to be classified?  Who is this "other" who does the classification?

I didn't think any of the emails were classified at the time they were sent or received.  Many have since been classified, of course.

As far as who makes the decision about whether something is classified, I wouldn't expect a cabinet secretary to be involved in those decisions.  Things like that are usually decided by wonky committees of lawyers and analysts.

The thousands of emails are classified by their very nature. Marked or unmarked.

[Reub]

It all comes back to Hillary's naivety. Right, MT?

[MediumTex]

Not only is the answer "yes", but for stuff that wasn't classified "at the time": who else is qualified if not the Secretary of State to know which documents are going to be classified?  Who is this "other" who does the classification?

I didn't think any of the emails were classified at the time they were sent or received.  Many have since been classified, of course.

As far as who makes the decision about whether something is classified, I wouldn't expect a cabinet secretary to be involved in those decisions.  Things like that are usually decided by wonky committees of lawyers and analysts.

The thousands of emails are classified by their very nature. Marked or unmarked.

No.  Classified, Top Secret, etc. are categories of data, and each has its own security protocol and classification procedure.

[MediumTex]

It all comes back to Hillary's naivety. Right, MT?

I said Obama was naive in his beliefs about what it took to see his agenda enacted.  Reality has shown that he was, in fact, naive.

Hillary is a whole different story.  I never said she was naive.  She's about as far from naive as I can imagine a politician being.

Can you maybe tone it down a little?  A little sarcasm goes a long way.  If you want to make a case for why Obama has not been naive in his approach to implementing his agenda, then please do so.

Why do you think Obama has basically failed in everything he has tried to do as President?  The na�vet� of his administration seems obvious to me.  Maybe there is another explanation.